I am a bridesmaid. She understands my financial position and says she will be respectful of that since a few of us are struggling (one has a 1 year old, one saving for a wedding, one is expecting...). In the same email she suggested that like she did for a friends wedding we all start putting away $100 a month (each that is) to put towards the shower...
I am going to do my best to give her everything she expects/wants but as I was upfront with her about the financial stuff, I won't feel bad when it goes over the line.
Oh a few of you mentioned that a grand seems outrageous. It does to me too but that is what everyone has told me they spent recently. I will be honest, weddings are HUGE (as in cost) around here. My wedding cost me a lot of money, it's actually almost shameful. I could have bought a lower end luxury car cash or a year at Princeton for what I spent...
I will be sure to update any craziness related to the wedding =)
I love you guys, you give the best advice!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
To be or not to be...a bridesmaid that is...
I could use some advice/opinions of you lovely ladies (seriously help meeeee....). I got married about three years ago. I had lived at home and saved for the wedding and paid for it (like 90% of it) on my own. I had three bridesmaids, one in college (a SIL), one already married and the third had just bought her first place with her boyfriend.
I knew money was tight for everyone, so did my mom. We were very careful about what we asked my bridesmaids to pay for. My mother and I covered most expenses normally paid for by the bridal party (shower, bachelorette party, hair, etc.). The thing is my friend (who was my maid of honor) recently got engaged. I was told my a mutual friend that I will be asked to be a bridesmaid. The problem is, as I am sure you guessed - MONEY!!!
She is planning on a March or April wedding. DH is already in a wedding next year (his brother's), and in addition to that one we have two other weddings to attend (one out of state). I will be honored if she asks me and while I would love nothing more than to do it, I am worried that I can't afford what is expected. Do I suck it up, say yes and hope I hit the lotto? Do I tell her I would love to but let her know my financial position might make it difficult? Do I just graciously say no?*
*Things complicating the entire situation: I worry our friendship would never be the same if I said no. I asked around the going rate in this area for bridesmaid expenses is a grand. I know she was sort of upset that she had 6 people to ask, she thought that was too many.
What the freak do I do
I knew money was tight for everyone, so did my mom. We were very careful about what we asked my bridesmaids to pay for. My mother and I covered most expenses normally paid for by the bridal party (shower, bachelorette party, hair, etc.). The thing is my friend (who was my maid of honor) recently got engaged. I was told my a mutual friend that I will be asked to be a bridesmaid. The problem is, as I am sure you guessed - MONEY!!!
She is planning on a March or April wedding. DH is already in a wedding next year (his brother's), and in addition to that one we have two other weddings to attend (one out of state). I will be honored if she asks me and while I would love nothing more than to do it, I am worried that I can't afford what is expected. Do I suck it up, say yes and hope I hit the lotto? Do I tell her I would love to but let her know my financial position might make it difficult? Do I just graciously say no?*
*Things complicating the entire situation: I worry our friendship would never be the same if I said no. I asked around the going rate in this area for bridesmaid expenses is a grand. I know she was sort of upset that she had 6 people to ask, she thought that was too many.
What the freak do I do
Friday, July 3, 2009
I just have to say it
Maybe my blog will just be full of random opinions, I sure seem to have a lot of those these days.
I just have to come out and say it. Teenagers are ill equipped to be parents. See, look at me judging people. Last night I was trying to find something to watch in bed and found myself glued to 16 and pregnant on MTV. I read the shows description and tuned in to watch this teenager's life fall apart around her. She and the BF had planned on getting married and joining the AF after graduation. Guess what? She got knocked up and now he is having second thoughts about marriage, he barely graduated and she didn't.
I watched this girl's dreams vanish before her. She made dumb choices when it comes to her sex life (wait, don't wait, do whatever but come on people...) She saw her friends graduate and go on with their lives, her boyfriend never supported her so she could go to night classes and graduate, he was out and about having a good old time while she was home trying to take care of this child. I feel awful for their child. What kind of life will she wind up with?
I watch the movie Juno a lot. I have totally mixed emotions about the movie, but Juno gets one thing right "I'm in high school, I'm ill equipped." Being pregnant as a teenager is a garbage dump of a situation (I must again credit the movie Juno there), but it can have a better ending than shatter dreams, a single teenage mother, and a rough, rough start to life.
p.s. I am also a victim of the economy. I am being laid off as of 10/1. Did I mention I haven't even gone back to work yet because of the complications after delivery? Oh well, it couldn't have happened at a better time for me. I am actually sort of happy it happened this way...
I just have to come out and say it. Teenagers are ill equipped to be parents. See, look at me judging people. Last night I was trying to find something to watch in bed and found myself glued to 16 and pregnant on MTV. I read the shows description and tuned in to watch this teenager's life fall apart around her. She and the BF had planned on getting married and joining the AF after graduation. Guess what? She got knocked up and now he is having second thoughts about marriage, he barely graduated and she didn't.
I watched this girl's dreams vanish before her. She made dumb choices when it comes to her sex life (wait, don't wait, do whatever but come on people...) She saw her friends graduate and go on with their lives, her boyfriend never supported her so she could go to night classes and graduate, he was out and about having a good old time while she was home trying to take care of this child. I feel awful for their child. What kind of life will she wind up with?
I watch the movie Juno a lot. I have totally mixed emotions about the movie, but Juno gets one thing right "I'm in high school, I'm ill equipped." Being pregnant as a teenager is a garbage dump of a situation (I must again credit the movie Juno there), but it can have a better ending than shatter dreams, a single teenage mother, and a rough, rough start to life.
p.s. I am also a victim of the economy. I am being laid off as of 10/1. Did I mention I haven't even gone back to work yet because of the complications after delivery? Oh well, it couldn't have happened at a better time for me. I am actually sort of happy it happened this way...
Monday, June 29, 2009
It's been a long time....
I am not sure what is going on with my blog, I don't want to have a mommy blog and right now that is mostly my life. I wish you all the best and thank everyone for their support, I am still here, reading along and supporting you.
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